The Double-Edged Sword of New Year's Resolutions.
There can be something irresistible about the prospect of turning over a new leaf on January 1st. If we didn't make the changes we'd hoped to make last year, the new year re-energizes our intentions. We make our list. Sometimes the changes we want actually start sticking to our ribs! But sometimes they don’t.
The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same.
Human beings are creatures of habit. A habit is just something we’ve done enough times to have it be automatic. We have habits of mind (what’s your first thought when you can’t find your car keys?) and of body (which arm do you put into your coat first?). Habits can be hard to break. But they can also be surprisingly easy to make.
If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes.
If we want to break old habits and make new ones, the first thing we have to do is to raise our awareness of our "default" patterns. Once we interrupt them, we have an opportunity to do something different.
A Little Practice Can Go A Long Way.
Raising our awareness can be unexpectedly challenging! But a little practice can make an amazing difference.
Try this.
Close your eyes and take three "Be a Balloon" (deep) breaths. Make your exhales as long as you can. Next, with your eyes still closed, take an "inventory" of your mind (what thoughts are you thinking?) and of your body (what sensations are you feeling?). Pretend you're a scientist, just observing (with non-judgmental curiosity) whatever comes into your awareness. If you observe self-talk that is unkind, make it a little more supportive. For example, instead of: "I'll never change! Why bother even trying?" say this: "Small changes will lead to bigger changes!" Last, take three more "Be a Balloon" breaths. And that's it.
Progress, Not Perfection.
There's no way to get it wrong. If you do it at all, you're doing it perfectly. Keep your nose to the grindstone. But cut yourself some slack too. Because you’re only human! Turn over a new leaf as many times as you need to. As always, remember to breathe.
By Jo Werther, LCSW
https://www.ncmamaine.com/
